| A new man with blonde hair and a tan |  | 50% |
| Stockings full of things |  | 20% |
| Fuzzy handcuffs |  | 16% |
| Chocolate fountain |  | 14% |
| Glasses with built in windscreen wipers |  | 34% |
| Y-fronts and socks |  | 26% |
| Contact lenses |  | 19% |
| Driving gloves... and a new spare tyre |  | 11% |
| A where's wally book |  | 10% |
| A Grow your own neck kit |  | 40% |
| A new book (he's been reading that last one for such a long time) |  | 38% |
| A trip around the world |  | 10% |
| Encyclopaedia Brittannia |  | 8% |
| A new dinner jacket |  | 4% |
| The updated Laser Beam gun |  | 35% |
| A comb |  | 34% |
| A Flatscreen Monitor |  | 15% |
| Respect from Frank |  | 10% |
| A kitten |  | 6% |
| She asks for nothing!! |  | 38% |
| Riff Raff in under pants |  | 30% |
| Booze |  | 10% |
| Moon-cream lotion for her days on the beaches of Transylvania |  | 10% |
| A brand-new feather-duster |  | 7% |
| Ann Summers Gift Vouchers |  | 5% |
| Framed portrait of her and Eddie |  | 30% |
| Meatloafs greatest hits album |  | 30% |
| Tap shoes duh! |  | 15% |
| Pink hair dye and some glittery hair spray |  | 15% |
| Iceland Freezer Vouchers |  | 10% |
| A brain? A heart? Some courage? |  | 32% |
| Meat! |  | 25% |
| Candy-Apple-Red gym equipment |  | 25% |
| Clothes |  | 10% |
| A ticket out of there |  | 8% |
| Fishnet tights (they grew on him) |  | 35% |
| Stephen Hawking's wheelchair |  | 33% |
| WD40 |  | 20% |
| A chemistry set |  | 6% |
| Mein Kampf - a first edition, signed |  | 4% |
| Mostache trimmer |  | 2% |
| A fishnet stockingful of candy |  | 38% |
| Popcorn machine |  | 20% |
| The collected works of Ray Harryhausen |  | 18% |
| Promotion to projectionist |  | 14% |
| Wind up torch |  | 10% |
| Twister board game |  | 32% |
| Something dark and mysterious |  | 30% |
| Day of the Dead DVD collection |  | 13% |
| Peace on Earth - War on Transylvania |  | 13% |
| Nicer sunglasses |  | 12% |